My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just want nice things and good sex
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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