That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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