Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize