Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
