Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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