so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
