are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
