I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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