Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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