we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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