how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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