You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You smell like stripper and shame
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
