yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
