oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
BRING THE BAGELS
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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