Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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