:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
