She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
