i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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