Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Say something about gay babies.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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