dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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