i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
