i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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