do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
