He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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