The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
