Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
