the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
