Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
