I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just high enough for therapy.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
