That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
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