Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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