Dual....:-)
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
