so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
