Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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