I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
