Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
