It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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