My first STD was from a foam party
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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