she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
