You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
