i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
