I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So squirting runs in the family.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
