My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
