i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
