Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
this is an emotional support booty call
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
