I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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