Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think I sprained my soul last night
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize