I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
