You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
