Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
