So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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