you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he fucked my hip out of place.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
