and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize