3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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