Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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