he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
