I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
