Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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