even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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