It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
