Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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