I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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