I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
