Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
one two three fourrrrnication!
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Redeem this text for a blowjob
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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