I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
