He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
