Having a random hookup so left but love u
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
