is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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